[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to brain junk. I'm Amy Barton.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: And I'm Trace Kerr. And today is everything you never knew you wanted to know about mercenary monkeys.
[00:00:12] Speaker A: I want to know everything about this. The title alone. I'm excited about this one.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: They're gonna. They're gonna steal your wallet. They're gonna take your lunch money for the highest bidder.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: I like it.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: Yes. And also, so as I'm writing the notes, when I was writing the notes for this, I typed in David Attenborough, you know, Mister Wildlife television show narrator. And I can't spell. And Attenborough is.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: That's a lot of letters.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a lot of letters. My word. You know, I use word. It had a spellcheck correction for his name.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: Really?
[00:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: I had, like, Attenborough.
Do you mean Attenborough? Yeah, actually, I do mean that.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: You know, you've made it when Microsoft spell checks for your name. That's amazing, because, like, our internal systems don't even spell check for Gonzaga. Gonzaga is always an error. I'm like, what? Can't. Can't we tell it who we are? Can't it learn? No.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Do you mean garbanzo? No, I don't. I never do.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: That's delightful. I. So monkey mercenaries, mercenary monkeys. Gives me, like, Jumanji has a heist movie vibe.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: Oh, well, you're right on track.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: Awesome.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: So I saw a short video, and that's the reason why I was talking about David Attenborough. Cause he narrates this little short video of long tailed macaques in Bali, Indonesia. Stealing.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: Yes. Like in Indiana Jones.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Well, kind of. I mean, like, in a way, it kind of sounds cute. You're like, oh, monkeys are taking things from people. Okay. But the group of macaques, they mean business. Okay.
It's a temple site where Hindus, they've been coming to worship for ages. You know, imagine you're built temples and all this kind of stuff.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Lara Croft tomb Raider situation.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: 100%. Yep. And it's like the mafia.
And these aren't like in the tv show friends. You had, like, the capuchin monkeys, the little tiny.
Okay. No, no, no, no. These are the males, about 2ft long in body, not including the tail. They weigh about 18 pounds.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Ooh, that's like two of my cats put together.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: Yep. And a little more if they're getting some good snacks.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Which they probably are.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: Mm hmm. So this is not a small animal.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: And are these the guys with the big. I'm looking at macaques. And are these the ones with the big mane around their face.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: Well, I guess the males do kind of have a frizzy, you know, it's not like a lion mane. They do have, like, some mutton choppy things going on. Right.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:56] Speaker B: And the teeth.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Ooh, do they have scary teeth?
[00:02:58] Speaker B: They have huge canines. In the fall of 2023, a ten year old girl who was visiting the sacred monkey forest there was hospitalized with a monkey bite.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Oh, really?
[00:03:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, because these monkeys are in very close proximity to the people.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: They are doing monkey things. This particular situation with the girl, they think that he was interacting with her. And one monkey and another monkey got jealous and jumped on her back and bit her on the back.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Yeah, their canines are huge.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Oh. And probably very bacteria filled and very different bacteria than is in our mouths.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Yeah. These monkeys are out to get you. And they know that we are weak.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: So there are five main groups that range over the temple grounds. And they are fed corn, cucumbers and bananas by temple members. But what they really like is chocolate. So I sent you a video. It's very short. I need you to watch this video.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Loading. David Attenborough's name came through there. I'm like, I thought he had two teas. He does.
Okay.
Okay, I'm watching. And there's this tourist having a drink from a water bottle. And the monkey comes up and snatches the glasses off her face. Just wiped her sunglasses.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: Yeah, they take sunglasses, hats.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. They just snatched a cell phone out of a lady's hand. She's just walking along, holding it by her side. And now it's the monkeys forever.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: And the bargaining is rough. Like, you will see them offer some of the corn or a banana.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: Yes. And it took it, but backed away.
Now chocolate. Chocolate won the day. Chocolate got her her phone back. Oh, my gosh.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: Yeah. They offer the banana, and you see this macaque clutch the phone tighter. And the look on his face is, absolutely not. You piece of crap.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Are you kidding me? Bringing that trash here? No.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: And then they hold out some sort of wrapped candy bar. And that monkey grabs the bar, drops the phone and leaves.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Drops it like it's a hot potato. It's gone.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Yep. They know that they are bargaining.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: And they tell tourists when they come to the temple area, put your valuable things inside a pocket and zip that up. And there's longer videos that I watched where you see people wandering through the temples and they're looking around and these macaques are on all the railings and their little eyes are just watching for a mark.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. And we've trained them. What's important to us. Cause they're going for cell phones and glasses. Wow.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. So it's mostly males that are doing this. The younger males, the more inexperienced males are going for the sunglasses on the top of the head, the hat, those kind of things.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: They're working harder.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: Yeah, well. And they don't always get premium stuff. They'll get, like, often. Okay, so your glasses are snatched off your head. Someone who's working at the temple will come over with a piece of corn or a banana and try to negotiate for you.
And the younger monkeys will often take the fruit. Corn doesn't go over so great. In fact, I watched this one where they offer a chunk of corn.
[00:06:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:17] Speaker B: And the monkey is holding, like, sunglasses, and he takes the corn, looks at it, drops it, and they hand him a banana. He takes the banana and drops the glasses and runs away. And so fruit often is good. But there are about ten males that have been there. They're older, ten. They're 15. You know, they're older monkeys. They will steal a flip flop right off your foot.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: What?
[00:06:43] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: So if you're lounging at your table having lunch.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: No, no, no.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: While you're in motion, this lady is.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: Walking in her flip flops. He runs across the ground, grabs her foot, and you can't fight back because this thing's got teeth. And he rips the flip flop off her foot and then runs up on a railing because they know flip flops and phones are super high value, and they do not accept pieces of fruit for those.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: Wow. Can you take those guys to help you negotiate on your next car deal?
Can we teach them how to read a contract?
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Just rips a necktie right off. The salesman throws it down and stomps on it.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: That's amazing that they learn. I'm sure it's by the way that the people react and freak out that they know they're not walking away. Like, I'd walk away from $5 sunglasses. I'd be like, lesson learned. I should have listened.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: But I am not walking away from my shoe or my phone.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And no one, you know, there's no retaliation. That's happening because these monkeys are also respected. Right. You know, they're.
[00:07:49] Speaker A: We're in their habitat.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And part of the culture. And so, no, no one's going to interfere with them. But, boy, oh, boy, I even saw this one. There's a monkey, and let me tell you, he has a monkey gut going on. Okay. I mean, he has been living large. He's eating what looks like a tube of pringles.
[00:08:08] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: You know, he's got the little foil peeled up. He's eating a chip. His hands in there. I mean, like, this guy clearly took someone's cell phone.
[00:08:18] Speaker A: Yes. And they're like, I don't have chocolate. Do you have any other good snacks? Not any more. You don't. I know.
[00:08:24] Speaker B: So there's a lot to study there. I was reading some studies about the fact that they have to understand the value of the item. Right. Like you said. And then bargaining for something before you give it back. That takes a huge level of reasoning.
[00:08:39] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, it does.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: All of it is socially learned. Like, this has been passed down for at least 30 years. These monkeys, over and over, are like, okay, kid, you know, start low. Start with the. You know, start with the sunglasses.
[00:08:53] Speaker A: This is like, you watch the beginning scene in the italian job where the kid's learning to pick pockets in school and the scores get bigger and bigger.
This is that with monkeys, it is.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: The italian job, except. And no minis. There's no minis, no gold. Yeah, but what's funny is they were watching the younger monkeys snatching, like, glasses off people's faces, and they only get rewarded. I think it was, like, 60% to 70% of the time. Cause sometimes people are like you. They're like, it's a $5 pair of sunglasses. I got it in the gift shop. I don't care.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: And after a while, the monkey will.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: Just drop it so you can wander in behind. Will they? If you're fast, could you go in and snatch it back?
[00:09:33] Speaker B: No. Cause you'll get bitten.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah.
[00:09:36] Speaker B: You would have extra holes in your hands, too.
[00:09:38] Speaker A: An inch of monkey teeth.
Yeah. I don't want to find out what sort of shots you would need for that.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: No. And that was interesting. They were in the article about the girl that got bitten. Everyone was like, it's fine. They'll wash it. We vaccinate these monkeys. It's okay. And they called their doctor in Australia, and he was like, let's get a rabies shot.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: We're gonna put the vaccination version of that. Yeah. Clean everything out.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Yeah. The only. And in the paper, the only items with a hundred percent reward are the electronics. Yeah, that makes sense because they know the glasses right off the face is rude. Off the top of the head. Okay. But off the front of your face. Come on.
[00:10:24] Speaker A: So intrusive. And, like, I wonder what people do that have prescription glasses that have to wear them?
[00:10:29] Speaker B: Oh, you got to get those back. You have.
[00:10:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, could you avoid it? Can you be out of proximity? Like, you stay away from the edges and you don't sit down. But they were following in that short video, they were walking in the crowd and following a lady with a phone and watching. So maybe I'm just not touristing there.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: Well, yeah, no, I mean, they're definitely pickpocketing to the highest level. And then. Oh, this was the last. This was the last little bit. Bargaining could take up to 25 minutes.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: So you can't just bring out the big guns. Here's a pound of Hershey.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: I mean, yeah, you probably could, but, I mean, people.
I imagine that the same people who are not listening to keep your stuff zipped away are the same people that do not have nice snacks. So, I mean, I could almost imagine a situation where it's a couple. Her phone is snatched. He might have to leave the temple and go to a vendor.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah, go find somebody. The best job in that place is probably the guy that sells the chocolate bars for the monkeys.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: I know.
He's like this. $10.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: Yeah, sorry, buddy. It just went on sale for nine. I wonder if there were a vendor, if the monkeys would become, like, if there were a vendor near the monkeys, if the monkeys would become audacious with them too. You probably have to keep some separation there.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: The fact that they steal is not uncommon. And I did watch some videos of monkeys elsewhere in India, and, you know, a vendor of fruit and stuff like that. You can see the monkeys are, like, up on the roofs, and then the person, say, has to go to the bathroom, and there's nobody to watch the stall. And the monkeys. Okay, these guys have cheek pouches. And so this one came down. He had an orange in each cheek, one jammed in the middle like a golden retriever with three tennis balls and one in each hand. Off he went. So.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: Yeah, they're cunning.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: Yeah. That's amazing. And a little alarming.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm kind of glad we don't have them. Can you just imagine?
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Agreed. Because, you know, in an area like ours, they would be like the turkeys. They would learn there's better territory in certain places, and they'd turn up at Manitou park in the middle of the summer.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll stick with the raccoons, like, digging through my trash. I don't need a monkey pickpocketing me for my telephone.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: No.
That's amazing that they're so clever and both the choosing a high value item and bargaining is really interesting.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: Yeah, it's spooky. It's very spooky. But that's mercenary monkeys.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: That's excellent. If you want to check out any of those excellent videos trace is going to post, those can be
[email protected]. of course, we're on Facebook and Instagram, too, so there will probably be a little something there. And wherever you listen, like and subscribe to the show, hit up our merch store, looping back to the website.
All right, Trace and I will catch you next time when we share more of everything you never knew you wanted to know, and I guarantee you will not be bored.
