315: NSFW Summer Edition

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Wow. If you'll notice, I just hit start recording. [00:00:09] Speaker B: Oh, no, I forgot. I didn't think to check. I'm not looking at that screen. Shall we reboot this? [00:00:17] Speaker A: Damn it. [00:00:18] Speaker B: You know, I'm always more articulate the second time around. [00:00:21] Speaker A: It was so good. And I was like, oh, shit. [00:00:25] Speaker B: I'm glad you noticed it when you did. [00:00:28] Speaker A: I'm so sorry. [00:00:29] Speaker B: Oh, we have the whole episode, though. But I'm the first fact. [00:00:32] Speaker A: I know. Okay, okay, we're good. Let me start again. I hate everything. It was so good, so spontaneous. You just be. You forget I'm a complete idiot. Okay. Welcome to Brain junk. I'm Trey Skrr. [00:00:50] Speaker B: And I'm Amy Barton. And today we are coming to you with a not suitable for work edition of Brain junk, where we're going to share some. Some spicy subjects. There's definitely going to be some anatomical terms. So if you're one of those people that walks through target with your phone streaming something, or you're out on a walk in your neighborhood, put your headphones in. None of this is, you know, too crazy, I don't think. But you might not want your neighbor hearing us say and the penis, blah, blah, blah. Because that's gonna happen soon. [00:01:27] Speaker A: Yes, it is. [00:01:30] Speaker B: So this might be a slightly sexy, not suitable for work episode because I've got a few. Yep. Shall we dive right in? [00:01:37] Speaker A: Oh, yes, we shall. [00:01:41] Speaker B: Penguin secrets. Penguins have been so explored and there's so many movies about penguins. My favorite of the penguins of Madagascar. So I feel like we have this vibe on what penguins are like, but I'm about to blow your mind a little in certain areas. The interesting thing is this is not new information. There is the world's first penguin biologist, George Murray Levick. He was for almost a year in 1910 on Cape Adare on Antarctica. So he has this year of study of the world's largest Adelie penguin colonies. He wrote a book. It was published about a year after he left. It's called Antarctica study of their social habits. And then he wrote another paper and these writings were found. This second paper was found in 2012. In 2012, Douglas Russell, the senior curator of birds eggs and nests at the Natural History Museum, which has been renamed the British Museum of Natural History, discovered this paper and George had self published and passed it around to his colleagues at the British Museum of Natural History. And most of them are like, no. And they round filed it because of what we're about to say. But clearly a copy has survived which Douglas Russell found. And so I'm about to blow your minds with a few things. Some things will not surprise you. Like, penguins engage in same sex behavior. We've talked about that on the podcast. It's pretty common in the animal kingdom. The more we are able to document mating behavior, we see it a lot. So no big shocker there. [00:03:23] Speaker A: I was gonna say in 1911. That was probably quite a shocker. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Yes, yes. All of these things piled together, because I'm gonna keep telling you things, and you're gonna. [00:03:33] Speaker A: Oh, there's more. Okay. [00:03:34] Speaker B: Oh, so much more. So, first of all, penguins are not monogamous, which this is one where that is one of the favorite things about them, that they find their mate and they stay together. But that is not actually what has been observed by scientists as they watch more. Sometimes it seems like the penguin version of musical chairs, according to one writer, where a female may move from one nest to up to three more times, which are cheeky. Yeah. Which it does make sense to me, because they might have a lovely partner, but that partner may or may not be fertile, and there's no way to know. And so when you're in that window of opportunity, you take it. So that one makes sense to me. But it's not what we portray in movies. And the third mind blowing fact, divorce occurs in penguin colonies. [00:04:28] Speaker A: He's brought her lovely rocks. I don't know if Adelie penguins do that, but can you imagine? He's brought her these pretty rocks, and she's like, you know what? It's just not. Just not working for me anymore, Bob. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Exactly. Yes. And the ironic thing is, the movie, the march of the Penguins is about emperor penguins, and they're presented as this example of animals that represent good values. And emperor penguins are even less disposed to mating for life than a Delhi penguins. About 85% of emperor penguins divorce from one season to the next. [00:05:02] Speaker A: It's like, if I have to walk around in the snow with a baby on my feet, I'm getting somebody who really thrills me. Okay. [00:05:09] Speaker B: That's right. So up to a third of the Adeli penguins may switch partners from one season to the next. So can we say they're seasonally monogamous? If that makes you feel better? [00:05:19] Speaker A: Sure. [00:05:21] Speaker B: I'm pausing to look and see what's next. And if I want to horrify you and to give you comfort, some species, they still have documented that they really do, from season to season, stay together. So if that is a comfort to you, and please embrace that. [00:05:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't really know if it matters. I just like how, you know, for the longest time, I think researchers were like, well, this is what people do. And so that's the ideal. And so let's find that in the animal kingdom. And the animal kingdom is like, you know, if you're paying attention, that's not actually true. [00:05:53] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Big pause there, because this next two are exceptionally dark. Some penguin sex is not consensual. [00:06:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that's pretty common with birds. And it's not cool. [00:06:06] Speaker B: No. And to add on to that terribleness, some penguin partners aren't even alive. The bar is low for sometimes, so that. That's all we need to say about that. But that. So now, as you can imagine, mutton chopped british men in the museum round filing their papers. I get that. I get that. They're like, no, this can't be true. [00:06:31] Speaker A: These cute little birds, just like when I found out otters do the same thing, and I was like, oh, no. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Yikes. So, on to a less surprising thing. Some female penguins find sneaky ways to get pregnant. Like, they'll do their thing with their partner, and then everybody goes to bed, and the lady sneaks out at night and finds another fella. So it's. They do have these monogamous relationships. Or this. I don't know if monogamy is the right term, even, because pair bonded. [00:07:09] Speaker A: You know, it's like a bonded pair kind of thing. [00:07:11] Speaker B: But up to 8% of male penguins are infertile, so it's super evolutionarily smart for ladies to stick to one guy. I would. 92% odds are pretty good. But if you can boost it to 100, why not? So that way, at least one egg is fertilized. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Wow. [00:07:29] Speaker B: And my final thing, all of these piled on. These poor british men had their brains exploded. Currency is sometimes exchanged for sex. In the penguin colony. If a fella comes up to a lady and he's got a nice stone and he does a happy little smile, she might be like, okay, sure. And mating. Mating occurs for stones. [00:07:53] Speaker A: So, yeah, there was that. There was an instagram that I sent you that was they have in an aquarium kind of thing. They were having school children paint rocks, and then they put them in a. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Bucket, and then male penguins were paying for sex with them. [00:08:11] Speaker A: That's not what they told the children. [00:08:17] Speaker B: They were so cute, though. And you should find that video and watch it because it's delightful. The penguins really are charmed by these pretty rocks, which they use for structurally creating drainage in their nests. [00:08:29] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'll put that in the show notes. Don't worry, it'll be there. Okay, so. [00:08:33] Speaker B: So that's the end of my shocking parade through breaking penguin stereotypes. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Wow. Well, I'm gonna break a stereotype because we're gonna talk about periods in space. [00:08:44] Speaker B: Oh. Oh. Oh. I have questions. Because that's problematic because we rely on gravity for that to go well, don't we? [00:08:53] Speaker A: Well, okay. Yeah. [00:08:54] Speaker B: So, okay. Tell me all your things. [00:08:55] Speaker A: I was on a road trip, and we were talking about weird stuff, like you do at hour six on the road. And my passenger, Princess Lisa, was like. She was talking about how NASA tried to send Sally ride into space with, like, a hundred tampons for one period. Have you heard this? Have you heard this? [00:09:14] Speaker B: No. [00:09:15] Speaker A: Okay, so, 1983, Sally ride, first lady, she's gonna go into space, and all these male engineers are like, so how many tampons do you think you're gonna need? Do you think you're gonna need 100? And she's no, half. That would probably be even more than I need. Right. [00:09:29] Speaker B: For six days, they're like, okay, we'll give you 200. [00:09:33] Speaker A: Yeah. So. Well, and to top it off, they connected all the tampons strings together so they wouldn't float away. Not only are we gonna give you a 50 tampons or 100 tampons, we're gonna tie them all together. [00:09:42] Speaker B: You couldn't just put them in a Ziploc bag? [00:09:44] Speaker A: No. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Come on, people. [00:09:46] Speaker A: No. And they also tried to design a makeup kit for her. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Bless their hearts. I know. [00:09:53] Speaker A: They're like, well, when the men go to space, they want to shave. Would you like us to make a makeup kit? And Sally ride rolled her eyes all the way to the back of her head and said, absolutely not. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about periods. Right? So gravity, period. You know what? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there were a lot of thought. People were very concerned. Without gravity, is that buildup of blood just gonna hang out in there? [00:10:18] Speaker B: Yeah. What happens? [00:10:19] Speaker A: Or in the 1970s, the NASA scientists. Okay, they were, oh, in addition to in the eighties, coming up with all the tampons. In the seventies, they were like, okay, blood. When you're in space in zero g pools in the chest and the head. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:10:36] Speaker A: That's why astronauts kind of get kind of puffy looking, because they've got all this extra blood, because the heart is like, this is easy. I don't need to do anything. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Your legs aren't here right now. We are not gonna worry about them. [00:10:47] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And so then they're like, well, if the blood is pooling in the head and the chest. Would a period flow backwards through the fallopian tubes and into the abdomen? [00:10:57] Speaker B: It shouldn't. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Well, I know, but they were freaking out, and so. [00:11:02] Speaker B: That's fair. It's unknown. [00:11:04] Speaker A: I went, oh, I mean, now we know that the toilets have suction. And I thought, do you just up the suction? [00:11:15] Speaker B: She just has to hang out for a little while. [00:11:17] Speaker A: I know. Exactly. I'm gonna be in here for 15 minutes. I don't wanna talk about it. Well, it turns out uteruses don't give a crap about gravity or your feelings. So space periods aren't much different from the ones on Earth. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Really? [00:11:30] Speaker A: Yep. [00:11:30] Speaker B: Things just keep happening. Your body is like, no, we still know what to do. It's fine. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Yep. It still worked. It still drained. Sally ride used six tampons instead of 100. You know, whatever she needed for the time. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Did you get some weird infection? [00:11:45] Speaker A: She did not. [00:11:46] Speaker B: I'm sure we would have heard about that. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah. But what they ended up deciding was that it would be easier and less mess to just not have a period when you're in space. [00:11:56] Speaker B: That's probably true. [00:11:58] Speaker A: So you're on the ISS, you're up there for six months, you're taking something that just stops your period. And then. Because part of the issue was we've got water reclamation from the urine and we've got storm. What are we going to do with the blood and the stuff? Can you imagine? This was something that Lisa was like, what if you pulled out a tampon and it got away from you and then it's just floating in the space station? [00:12:24] Speaker B: That would be terrible. [00:12:25] Speaker A: It would be people. Oh, yeah. It would be bad. It would be bad. [00:12:28] Speaker B: So there's probably a lot of sacrifices to dignity that happen in space. And you don't need to add that one. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Sorry, Bob, but can I have that, please? And I'll get you a wet wipe. Yeah, nobody needs that. Nobody needs that. Yeah. So. And a fun little extra fact. So this. Oh, boy. The articles that I read about human physiology and space. But, okay, but what about pregnancy and all this kind of stuff? Because, you know, there's a lot of radiation in space. We found that they've actually looked at female astronauts who have gone up and come down and have gone on to have children. And things seem fine. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Question mark. [00:13:06] Speaker A: But they had frozen mouse sperm stored for up to five years on the international space Station. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Oh. [00:13:13] Speaker A: And then they brought it back to Earth and they used that to make baby mice. And they do have some mutations but they were like, well, we still made mice, so fine. [00:13:25] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Really? Did it say what kind of mutations? Or were they vague? [00:13:29] Speaker A: They were. Well, it was stuff that was like, level science for me. [00:13:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:35] Speaker A: It was stuff where there were a lot of things knocked off of different chromosomes. This is still a functioning mouse, but turns out you can still have a period in space, although they really like you not to. [00:13:47] Speaker B: I can. I can see that it solves a lot of problems for you not to. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:51] Speaker B: I need to pause while I contemplate all of these things. [00:13:56] Speaker A: Pause, please, for an Amy processing moment. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. Would you like to talk about humpback whales? It's too bad if you don't. Cause it's happening. This fun gem is probably something you've seen in the media, because it's a big deal. Photographers have captured humpback whales mating for the first time in January of 2022. So I think we've discovered everything. But there's so much that we don't know about certain species because the best part of their existence is inhabitants that we can't get to. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Yep. [00:14:34] Speaker B: So Lyle Kranichfeld and Brandi Romano were photographing whales and they. [00:14:41] Speaker A: I'm so excited. Cause, man, this just cracks me up. The videos I have seen. [00:14:47] Speaker B: Yes. And the way people are. Yeah. Yep. [00:14:52] Speaker A: Hang on, people. She's getting organized. It's gonna be good. [00:14:55] Speaker B: Yeah. What I. What I'm not finding is where they were at. [00:14:59] Speaker A: Oh, where were they? [00:15:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Let's go find it. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Go to the Google. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Scientists, Lyle. No, they're not scientists. Although they were doing science y things. Photographers Lyle Cranitchfeld and Brandy Romano were on a boat in the Pacific Ocean near Maui. If I had to do research, I could do it there. Sacrifice. Taken pictures of whales and they captured two adult humpback whales who were clearly mating. And I. They understood that this was groundbreaking. They knew enough to know that that has not been captured before. So let me tell you scope of what a humpback whale size is to give you an idea of what they were witnessing. The adult humpback whale ranges in length from about 46 to 56ft and weighs up to 40 metric tons. Wow. But these photographers caught this image and they're like, we should tell somebody about this. And so they sent these pictures to Stephanie Stack, who's a biologist at the Pacific Whale foundation. And Stephanie immediately realized that this was. Wow. It was two males and they were mating. [00:16:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:16:07] Speaker B: So this offers new insight into humpback whale interactions specifically, but whales in general, hopefully. And of course, this adds humpback whales to the long list of animals that engage in same sex behavior, including, like, bottlenose dolphins, bison, dragonflies. I didn't know bison or dragonflies. Dragonflies, apparently so. [00:16:28] Speaker A: Well, I guess when you have a bunch of females pretending to be dead, you've got to make some choices. [00:16:32] Speaker B: So get some practice time in. Yeah. So these photographers watched these whales for about 30 minutes, and they photograph them. Now is the time, like, for you to forward 15 seconds or so if you don't want to hear the details. But whale B approached whale a from behind and held onto his pectoral fins. And. And you're probably wondering, logistically, how does this work? And apparently male whales have a genital slit, which is an opening that hides the humpback whale's penis when it is not mating. Oh, so that's where the action happened. So they spent about 30 minutes watching this. And apparently there is a citizen science database called happy whale. Wherever. [00:17:19] Speaker A: I called onlyfans. [00:17:21] Speaker B: Yeah, onlyfins so bad. But on happy whale, they have this database of whales, and they identify them based on their fluke markings. [00:17:34] Speaker A: Ah. [00:17:35] Speaker B: So they confirmed that both of them are males. They know that whale B was around 30 years old, and whale a was roughly 13 years old. And scientists say they don't have. Have specific reasons why this mating would have occurred. They do have some ideas in general, think that animals engage in homosexual behavior to form social bonds, reduce tension, practice mating, among other reasons. We don't know. So they're hypothesizing. So could be in this particular situation, it could have been mating season with high hormone levels, and so everybody's ready to party. It could have been a dominance thing. Whale B was bigger and older, and whale a didn't look super healthy. But that also could be the opposite thing. It could be whale B. You know how your cat knows you don't feel good, you don't know where that's at in the animal kingdom. [00:18:30] Speaker A: That's the speculation. I saw. They were like, well, one was just kind of sick and the other one was being rude. And I'm like, well, we. We can't know that. [00:18:39] Speaker B: No. Yeah, that's one thing that doctor Stack said. She encouraged people to avoid anthropomorphizing. She says, given how little we understand about humpback whale reproduction and how we're still understanding about their social dynamics, I wouldn't venture a guess as to exactly what motivated the behavior. [00:18:59] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:59] Speaker B: So be cool, people. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that was remarkable too. I was like, wait, isn't that two dudes. Yeah. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. Yep. So that's my humpback whale fact for the day. [00:19:16] Speaker A: Wow. I love your humpback whale fact. Shall we talk about swearing parrots? [00:19:20] Speaker B: Yes, please. [00:19:24] Speaker A: So, just like your whale stuff, which. Those pictures were everywhere. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:29] Speaker A: The swearing parrots of the Lincolnshire Wildlife park in England have also been all over social media. They are foul mouthed fowls, which. Okay, I understand that foul birds, f o w l, are only birds that are raised as livestock, but it was too funny not to say foul mouth fowls. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Agreed. You had to take it. [00:19:52] Speaker A: I did. I had to. [00:19:53] Speaker B: I had to go there. [00:19:53] Speaker A: So write your hate mail all you want, brainjunkpodcastmail.com anyway, the zoo has african gray parrots. They take in quite a few that are, like, abandoned, that were pets, those kind of things. They do rehab. And they have more than just african greys. They have over a thousand parrots in this. [00:20:14] Speaker B: Oh, wow, really? [00:20:15] Speaker A: Yeah. In this wildlife park, lots of different kinds, but african grays, they are smart as whips. So researchers have been teaching african. African gray parrots for years. There was one lady whose name eludes me. Shoot. Hold on a second. African gray parrot research. Where's the lady's name? There she is. Irene Pepperberg. That's it. [00:20:41] Speaker B: That's a good name. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Yeah. She did a huge amount of research with Alex, the parrot, who was a african grey, and he could identify metal and glass and shapes and keys, and his vocabulary was huge. Right. Well, when you got a smart animal that can do all manner of complex thinking, you know what they love to do? Swear. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Awesome. That's as it should be. [00:21:03] Speaker A: Yeah. And so. [00:21:04] Speaker B: But if it's church day at the zoo, potentially problematic. [00:21:08] Speaker A: Well, okay, there are about eight of them, but there's a big sign outside the exhibit with police lineup photos of jade, Elise, Billy, Eric and Tyson. They are their five worst swearers. And this isn't just like you stubbed your toe kind of swearing. The fellow who runs the place, Steve Nichols, was calling it blue language. He does live youtubes talking about these parrots, and he's like, I just want to tell you, you don't know what you're going to hear. There was one parrot that kept making a sound, and I. Now, this is also in. You know, these birds are from all over the UK, so they have some accents. It kind of sounded like the f word, maybe, and he'd be like, oh, that was a swear. And then he'd keep talking. [00:22:04] Speaker B: I wonder if they can use it correctly in a sentence. [00:22:07] Speaker A: I did go digging across YouTube for people who had shot their own video and posted it. And one is, it's, you know, a group of parrots and they're in there and they're looking really cute. And one does say f you, but. [00:22:22] Speaker B: They'Re not stringing together unique new sentences, they're just delivering non sequiturs. [00:22:27] Speaker A: Yeah. They are repeating things that they heard a lot in their home and did. I watched an entire nine minute video of him talking about these things. Listening deeply for swears. Yes, I did. [00:22:39] Speaker B: How can you not? Really? [00:22:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And mostly there were r type chirping, you know, they. Cause they picked up the sounds of microwaves and, you know, television, all that kind of stuff and squawks. But. Okay, and here's the crazy part. The reason why everyone is talking about these swearing parrots is because they were like, what are we going to do? Because these parrots are on exhibit and, you know, people are walking by and they're throwing the c word out at people and they're telling them to f off and, you know, all this kind of stuff. They were like, well, why don't we integrate the. The foul mouthed ones with 15 polite parrots? [00:23:18] Speaker B: Oh, I do not think that's a good idea. [00:23:20] Speaker A: Yeah. And they were like, well, because, you know, they learn by listening. And so you've got these other parrots that are like cute words and hello, and I'm a parrot and Polly want a cracker, you know, this kind of stuff. And then maybe they'll stop, you know, just saying shit, you know, because I. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Do not think so. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Yeah, it didn't, that didn't really happen. [00:23:37] Speaker B: Did the nice birds learn new language? [00:23:39] Speaker A: Well, okay, so they. It didn't really work to make the, the eight ones stop. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna just move them into the colony of 92 other birds, which they have recently done, and they've just got their fingers crossed that it'll work out okay. [00:23:55] Speaker B: They're just dispersing them so that at least it's not as concentrated. [00:24:00] Speaker A: Yeah. They're still hoping because there are quite a few birds in there that have a large repertoire, that they will learn these things instead. But here's the problem. The bird is towards the front of an enclosure. It swears at people. People laugh, people clap, people also say the words back. [00:24:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:24:19] Speaker A: I listened to an NPR interview, and the interviewer was, wouldn't a hundred swearing birds make a huge tourist attraction and help the park raise money? [00:24:29] Speaker B: Yes, it would. [00:24:31] Speaker A: And Steve Nichols was like, well, you know, that's not what we're interested in. But he says that and yet there were a lot of lies. Videos of him doing a Facebook live and walking through the inside of the enclosure and saying hello to different birds. And you do hear the occasional, you know, in the background. So, yeah, super fun. [00:24:57] Speaker B: Where is this at again? [00:24:58] Speaker A: It's Lincolnshire Wildlife park in England. [00:25:01] Speaker B: Oh, I shan't be visiting that anytime soon. [00:25:03] Speaker A: Yeah. But when I first heard about this, they're like, we're gonna put the swearing ones in with the non swearing ones. And I was like, that seems like a bad idea. [00:25:11] Speaker B: Does. Yeah, I do think it would be fun to introduce them to things like bazinga, you know, silly language, but I always think the swears are gonna win. [00:25:21] Speaker A: Yeah, well, especially cause the reaction that they get. And so I can only imagine, you know, if they have field trips, although this is the UK, they're a little more relaxed than we are. Can you just imagine somebody clutching their pearls if this parrot dropped the f bomb, you know, in front of a bunch of first graders? So, yes, for sure these birds were in Australia. Can you imagine how filthy their mouths would be? I would go to that exhibit in a second. [00:25:46] Speaker B: But cheerful. [00:25:47] Speaker A: I know. I'd be like, take my money. I'm just gonna sit here all day. [00:25:52] Speaker B: I'm gonna learn some new things from them now. [00:25:55] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:55] Speaker B: We shall sit at the feet of the masters. [00:25:57] Speaker A: I gotta write that down. What was that? Maybe you'll say it again. Give them a minute. Offer him something. Give him a peanut. Yeah. [00:26:02] Speaker B: So, like a chocolate bar. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Swearing birds. There you go. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Oh, are you ready for my last one? [00:26:08] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:10] Speaker B: This one is another little social media find, and I liked it so much that I did not do the math myself. This is just science that I want to be true. Oh, no. So we all know, of course, that Santa delivers presents around the world in a 24 hours period. On Christmas, he has his eight reindeer with him. And so for the 24 hours period, those reindeers, reindeer in general, poop about five times a day. They're flying around the world. Each of the eight reindeers will do about five poops, which is about 40 poops around the world. During this journey, an average reindeer poop is about 10 grams and Santa's probably flying at about 32,000ft. So that means the poop will hit the ground at about 0.098 newtons. Almost one newton, which is one. A newton is equal to 1 squared. So one newton of force is the force required to accelerate an object with a mass of 1 can't say that. So the person who did this video says, it's not enough to kill you, but you don't want to be out there when it happens. [00:27:38] Speaker A: I just love that we are talking about the terminal velocity of reindeer shit. [00:27:43] Speaker B: Just. It delights me. And I did look up, like, how much is that? Like, pound force? And it's not. It's not that much. I think it would give you a little sting, but you definitely survive because it's just not very big. It's very little. 10 grams is, like a third of an ounce. [00:27:59] Speaker A: So, yeah, it'd be like getting hit with a malt ball. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Yeah. You're like, what the hell was that? Is that a raisin? What? [00:28:07] Speaker A: Merry Christmas. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. So there you go. That's. I didn't do the math myself because this sounded all very legit to me. So it's just science that I want to be true. [00:28:19] Speaker A: Actually, I'm more concerned for the man in the sleigh behind all these butts. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Yes. Because what is the wind speed doing to the trajectory of that poop? [00:28:30] Speaker A: Right. It's all in the sleigh. He's not wearing a red coat. [00:28:35] Speaker B: Now, that would be an interesting question to ask, because how quickly would he have to be traveling to do this? And how would that change? Like, are those poops just piercing his body because they're going so fast because of his air speed? [00:28:50] Speaker A: Reindeer crap bullets. [00:28:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Or would they shatter on impact because they don't have the structural integrity? That's probably how Santa survives. [00:29:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Or are all of those lady reindeer just holding it the whole time? [00:29:04] Speaker B: Yeah, or pooping on roofs while they're stopped? They're just super polite. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Oh, that's rude. [00:29:10] Speaker B: It's polite for Santa, though. So that's my last. I dialed it back because both of mine today were a little bit sexy. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Oh, well, just wait. We're gonna wind this up with a bang. [00:29:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:29:26] Speaker A: So there's a global obsession with penis size. I think we can agree with that. Right? [00:29:32] Speaker B: You do see a lot of references to it. Yes. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, if you watch Hulu at any time, every ad is for hymns not sponsored. And it's like, how to have an erection. How to have a bigger erection. It's just like. It's ridiculous. Okay? You got people taking powdered deer penis, or they're taking cordyceps mushrooms or using some horrific stretching tools. Listen, guys, it's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean. Okay? But I was looking for a TopIc to round out my NSFW episode here. So I typed into Google without incognito on. I want you to know I'm no baby. Penis size. Okay. [00:30:18] Speaker B: Just. [00:30:19] Speaker A: Just that I wrote penis size. All sorts of things came up, but a theme that I was seeing was comparing the size of your feet or the size of your hands or the size of your nose. Right? They're like, well, you got a big nose. Da da da da da. That kind of thing, right? [00:30:33] Speaker B: Yes. [00:30:34] Speaker A: All right. How accurate is that? Because that's how my brain works. [00:30:38] Speaker B: Right? Yes. [00:30:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:40] Speaker B: Is it true? [00:30:41] Speaker A: Is it even possible? Well, there's a study in translational andrology and urology came out in MaY 2023. They knew. They knew I was coming by Sung Woo Hong et al. Penile length and circumference. Are they related to nose size? [00:30:59] Speaker B: What's the answer? [00:31:01] Speaker A: I had to consult Chaz to help me with the abstract. That's how scientific we got. Okay. [00:31:07] Speaker B: Wow. I thought, well, no, carry it. [00:31:10] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:31:12] Speaker B: Not field research. [00:31:14] Speaker A: Jazz is like. And you told them what? And then he died? No, no, no, no. I had him help me with the data. The data. Okay, so, between March and October of 2022, they had 1160 patients, and they were asked, can we just take a whole bunch of measurements? So, they were doing bmi, nose size, and they were very particular about nose size. They were calculating the length, the width, and the height of the nose and then create. And then calculating the surface area inside that triangle. Oh, yeah. It was a whole. [00:31:55] Speaker B: They did do some math. [00:31:57] Speaker A: Yeah, they were doing some big math. And in addition to that, they were doing weight and foot size, testicle size, and then all the way to measuring Spl. [00:32:07] Speaker B: Spl. [00:32:08] Speaker A: Spl is stretched penis length. Okay. So it doesn't have a lot of blood in it. It's cold in the room. Stretch it out, give it a measure. That's what they were. That's what they were. [00:32:21] Speaker B: So conscious. Adult men voluntarily did this. [00:32:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Over a thousand of them. And, you know, when they were walking out, they were like, so how did I compare? How did I do? Because we have a problem. Okay. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Yes, we do. [00:32:36] Speaker A: And what's funny is this science paper made even this. This is so absurd, and it made it seem so reasonable. But you want to know about the results. So what's your guess? Nose size. [00:32:46] Speaker B: Guessing that maybe there's a certain degree of proportionality, but that it's not conclusive. [00:32:51] Speaker A: Okay, so meand I. SPL is 4.4 inches. Okay. An analysis revealed that bmI. So that's your body weight. You know that they do. Your testosterone level and your nose size are a factor. [00:33:11] Speaker B: There's some correlation, yes. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Okay, so BMI had a p of. And I'm going to explain this. Of zero, zero, one. Okay. Nose size had a p of zero two, three. That's cool. Okay, so p is probability. And this is where I needed Chaz, because I was like, what does that mean? I need help. And then he showed me a snoop dogg meme, and it's a picture of snoop Dogg, and he's, like, all pimped out. And it says, when the pee is low, the hoe must go. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Ah, snoop. [00:33:50] Speaker A: Yeah. So, ho, ho. That stands for the null hypothesis. And that's a hypothesis where you're trying to prove that something is more than random. So it's not. Is it accident? Is it just a random coincidence, or is it actually statistically true? So anything less than p probability, anything less than zero five is significant. So the smaller the p number, the better. So let's go back. So BMI is zero, zero one. [00:34:27] Speaker B: Wow. So there's a high correlation. [00:34:29] Speaker A: High correlation. And the nose is 0.023. So it's less than that zero five. So both of them are extremely significant. [00:34:41] Speaker B: Wow, really? [00:34:42] Speaker A: Yep. Yeah. So while a lower BMI is a better indicator of probably of that penis size than the nose, there is statistically significant correlation between nose size and penis size. [00:34:59] Speaker B: Wow. I would not have expected. I kind of expected that, but not to that degree. [00:35:05] Speaker A: Yes, but there was a caveat. Okay. So what they were measuring was that SPL. So that stretched length. Right. Turns out that the difference between stretched and erect varies widely. [00:35:21] Speaker B: Really? [00:35:22] Speaker A: So you could have two guys, same 4.4 inches and then erect. One could be six inches, one could be five inches. So. [00:35:33] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:35:35] Speaker A: It's all kind of like I said, it's about how you use it. [00:35:40] Speaker B: Yep. Wow. I did not expect any of that. [00:35:45] Speaker A: Me neither. I fully expected to find that they would be like, this is the dumbest thing. What a myth. And they were all actually. [00:35:57] Speaker B: Wink. [00:35:59] Speaker A: Yeah. So, I mean, I imagine that if you have a human being that has a big nose and larger body, you know, although a lower weight. Okay, a lower bmI. But then I don't really like BMI, because you can have somebody with a high BMI who's a weightlifter, who's extremely fit and very low fat. So, yeah, that's not really so much of an indicator. [00:36:19] Speaker B: They needed some data to go by, and they picked that one. [00:36:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:23] Speaker B: Wow. [00:36:24] Speaker A: So if that's something that you're concerned about. And you need to take a ruler and do some calculus while you're at the bar. I guess there's a reason why you should be doing that. Yeah. [00:36:37] Speaker B: Usually I feel like we give people some water cooler chat for the week, but I would just like to tell you right now, you will get to chat with HR. If you're talking about these things at the water cooler, odds are decent. [00:36:50] Speaker A: But you could take this into the. This could be the restroom. I'm thinking, you know, you're working on your bangs. You're getting, like, a fine line under your eye. You're winging it. You're winging it out. You got Marcy from accounting, and you're like, marcy, you need to know about the no's. [00:37:06] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. [00:37:07] Speaker A: It's still something you could talk about. Just think about where you are. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Pick your moment and your audience more carefully with this episode. [00:37:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So swearing, parrots, whale penis, human penis, which is much, much smaller, but it's okay, guys. It's okay. [00:37:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that was a lot. Oh, I feel like we've expanded some minds. [00:37:29] Speaker A: We have. These are my favorite episodes to do. I don't know if there's enough out there for us to do this every single time. [00:37:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:37] Speaker A: See? Look at what you've learned. Absolutely. Who's taking us out? Am I taking us out? Are you taking us out? [00:37:46] Speaker B: We can both take us out. There's probably gonna be some show notes. If you want to see examples of any of this [email protected]. so you can check some things out. Of course. We love it when you like and subscribe. It brings joy to our heart. What else? [00:38:05] Speaker A: Check out the merch. Hit our link tree on Facebook, on instagram. There's lots of places you can go and stuff you can look at. If you don't want to type things into a URL, you just go to Linktree. It's so easy. It's lazy, but not. It's efficient. There we go. [00:38:18] Speaker B: It's efficient. I wore my brain junk t shirt and drank tea out of my brain junk mug yesterday. I was very on brand. I should have taken a picture. [00:38:25] Speaker A: You should have. I'm disappointed in you. [00:38:27] Speaker B: I also got a spot on it when I was checking the oil in my car. [00:38:31] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:38:32] Speaker B: So now it's got authentic battle damage. [00:38:35] Speaker A: See, people? Authentic battle damage. My family makes fun of me because I wear an apron all the time, and I'm like, look, I only have so many t shirts. I need to keep them clean and I'm a slob. [00:38:45] Speaker B: So same. I should know better. [00:38:48] Speaker A: I know if they had a good apron I would have that up as merch too. But they have one that's really weird. So sorry. Yeah, have to find your own. But I guess I think we're done. Wherever you listen like and subscribe and amy and I will catch you next time when we share more of everything you never knew you wanted to know. And today I really do guarantee you will not be bored. It.